Step One. Or, Maybe Like Step 487.

So. I made an appointment.

I should qualify that. I made An Appointment. 

An APPOINTMENT.

AN APPOINTMENT.

AN. APPOINTMENT.

That thing where the words start to look like they aren’t real words at all, can’t possibly be real words, as they swim and spill into each other and stop making sense on the page and instead look like a jumble of some sort of alphabet soup.

But anyway, I made an appointment. At the local hospital’s Weight Loss and Weight Loss Surgery Center. I bit the bullet, as it were. And I’m not really sure yet which bullet I’ve bitten. My doctor did suggest them, although she suggested their Nonsurgical Weight Loss center. But I got an email from them because I took their online seminar. (I had just missed the in-person one by a few days.)

So they’ve got a nonsurgical weight loss center. My doc said they’ll write you prescriptions (oh HELL no) and have you work with a nutritionist and a personal trainer and all sorts of stuff. Except I strongly don’t know about that. I mean, it’s not like I am this clueless person who doesn’t know how to eat, or doesn’t understand that chicken fingers are not a healthy choice. Hell, it’s not like I even eat chicken fingers. And it’s not like I’ve never lost weight before. I have. It just apparently (seeing as how I’m way up here at this weight again) just never STAYED off.

But I also am not exactly saying that it’s all a waste of time, just cut me open and take out or rearrange parts of me. Yikes!

I’m not sure what I’m saying. I guess I’m saying that it’s time for a change, and I’m taking a more definitive step TOWARDS that change. And what happens next, I’m not sure about. Hopefully whatever it is will be good and not lead to me 1) gaining more weight, 2) dying from a PE, 3) dying from ANYTHING, 4) remaining fat, 5) not being able to eat normal food, 6) dumping, 7) any other awful side effects, 8) being generally miserable.

I loathe general misery, don’t you? 

And now I’m falling asleep at the laptop screen. Sheesh. I think being afraid of having sleep apnea is hella worse than actually having it.

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